


What now? (a moral conflict with oneself)

by Maddymat



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hate Sex, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Secret Relationship, Sports, Surprise Ending, Unrequited Love, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29200491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maddymat/pseuds/Maddymat
Summary: Atsumu a professional volleyball player with many aspirations has everything he’s wanted. Everything but love. A love like no other. When it becomes clear that someone can give that to him. He falls. Falls deep in love. But he’s scared that heartbreak waits around the corner.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Late to dinner

“Smack!” the sound of the last hit volleyball crashed to the court floor on the other side of the net. Bokuto landed on his feet and Atsumu gave a smug smirk to the player infront of him. Though it was just a practice game he took it very seriously, as did everyone on the team. Coach blew the whistle finalizing the win of the condensed team. They all walked off the court sweaty, some still full of energy, others... not so much.

“Good game Atsumu-san! You were really spot on with those sets! I could tell just by looking!” Shoyo bounced up and down. 

“Thanks sho-kun, maybe next time we ca’ be on the same side.” Atsumu used the towel around his neck to wipe the sweat off his brow.

A heavy arm wrapped around his neck. 

“Damn right! Put the three of us together we’d be unstoppable!” Bokuto yelled in Atsumu ear. 

“Yeah well inunaki is partially injured and we didn’t have a setter.” Meian coughed and stretched like the loss was due to default. 

“Meian-San I’m all healed up...” Inunaki contorted. 

“Yeah but you haven’t played in a week.” 

Inunaki huffed and grabbed his bag heading to the locker room. 

“Regardless y’all still lost. I believe we had a bet in place meian-San.” Atsumu grinned and tossed his bag over his back. As he headed out the door he shouted, “Everyone, dinners on Meian-San tonight!”

The team cheered and laughed as they all grabbed their stuff going to the locker room.

—————

Atsumu was the last one out of the shower. Everyone already on their way to the restaurant. He’d told them he’d meet them. The towel wrapped around his waist and he hummed slightly digging through his bag for deodorant. Faintly, there was a voice on the other side of the door. It wasn’t above Atsumu to eavesdrop, he did so daily whether he knew the person or not. He was never one to tell what he hears but he knows what’s going on with everyone. Everyone except Kiyoomi. 

Omi was a very private person. Atsumu never got more then a smart remark or mean mug from him. When he was having a conversation it was never anything personal. Just a surface conversation that anyone could talk about. Atsumu could tell that he got under his skin sometimes. Even so Omi never gave him to much of a reaction. Like on the court, when he’d gave Omi that condescending smirk. All he’d done was stare and walk away. Though atsumu purposely tried to tease and get under his skin, he felt like he was the one being played with.

Atsumu threw on a shirt and shorts creeping towards the door to hear more clearly.

“Yeah well, I’m not coming home till later tonight.”

Atsumu peeked through the crack and saw Kiyoomi leaned against the wall. 

“The teams going out for dinner.”

It was rare of Sakusa to join team gatherings if it wasn’t practice or games. 

“Yup. You do that.” He sighed, “yeah uhuh love you too.” He said quickly and ended the call.

Atsumu chuckled to himself wondering who was on the other end of that call. Maybe he’d ask him about it to mess with him. Atsumu knew sakusa wouldn’t tell him but it’d still be fun to see his reaction.

Atsumu looked back through the crack only to see Omi reaching for the knob. He scurried back to his locker trying to look normal. Sakusa walked into a scene of atsumu puttting deodorant on over his shirt. ‘Sumu gave him an awkward smile and quietly put the cap back on. Sakusa wasted no time to shake his head and grab his things.

“I like to be extra fresh after practice.” Atsumu tried to explain himself.

Sakusa looked at him but didn’t say anything. 

“Yup. good ol’ deodorant does the trick.” He continued.

“I don’t care miya.” Kiyoomi finally spoke.

“Okay okay I was jus’ sayin’.”

“Mmm” Kiyoomi turned back to his belongings. 

Atsumu clicked his tongue and swung his arms, rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Sooo...”

Kiyoomi continued to gather his things paying little mind to atsumu.

“You coming to the restaurant? Meian-sans paying.” He finally asked.

“No.” 

“Why ya got plans or something?”

“wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yea’ actually, think I might’ve overheard ya say you were coming. But hey, my ears could be wrong.” Atsumu shrugged his shoulders.

Sakusa looked up at him. “What so you’re eavesdropping now? Do me a favor and mind your business Miya.” Not much hostility in his voice just unbothered-ness. 

“So what’s yer plans for tonight? Were ya talkin’ to yer girlfriend a earlier? Maybe boyfriend?”

“So many questions you won’t get the answer to.” He put on one strap of his bag over his shoulder and left atsumu by himself.

“Hmph”

Atsumu grabbed the rest of his stuff and headed to met up with the rest of the team.


	2. Have you finished those errands?

In the morning Atsumu got up and went on his morning run. His mind drifted to last night, Sakusa really didn’t show up to the restaurant. Not that he expected him to, sakusa hardly showed up for anything if it wasn’t practice or a game. ‘Sumu wondered where he went and what he did. He wasn’t worried, just curious. He’d lied about his whereabouts to whoever was on the other end of that phone call. He didn’t think sakusa was one for lying. Although an asshole he’d always seemed truthful. Guess you never really know a person he thought.

When he got back to his apartment he set his phone and keys on the counter and headed to the bathroom. Took a quick shower because his stomach was rumbling. Throwing on some shorts and a towel around his neck he grabbed eggs and few other things out of the fridge.

Atsumu’s phone rang on the counter. Osamu’s name flash across the screen. He answered.

“Wassup ‘samu.” He turned to his eggs.

“Do you have practice later? I gotta talk to ya ‘bout something.” 

“Yeah practice ends around 8 pick me up then fuckface.”

“Alright. Oh and Ma wants us to stop by the house tomorrow morning.”

“What for?” 

“Who knows. Didn’t ask.”

“‘Kay see ya later then.”

Atsumu hung up the phone and continued tending to his breakfast. He plated what he made and sat at the small island in the kitchen. 

Scrolling through Instagram aimlessly, his phone buzzed again. It was the Meian-san texting in the team group chat.

Meian: Practice will run late today guys coach has some stuff for us to watch and practice.

Bokkun: but I had plans with agaashiiiiiiiiii :(((

Shokun: Aw bokuto-san im sure Akaashi-san will understand. 

Inunaki: I don’t mind staying a little late...but how late we talking?

Meian: probably til 9:30-10

Atsumu: Great but I also have plans

Meian: take it up with coach

Everyone continued to reply to the text. Most of them saying that it was fine. The one person who didn’t respond was sakusa. That was a bit strange, never one for long winded text but at least an acknowledgement like “okay” or “no” is always given. 

Atsumu felt as though sakusa had been acting strange. Maybe he had some personal issues going on, Atsumu wondered. That was probably it given that phone call he’d heard last night.

He set his phone back down and began eating. He had a few errands to run before practice so he’d better get started early.  
——————

Grocery shopping was Atsumu’s last errand before practice. He walked down the cereal aisle looking for the big box of fruity pebbles. Then backed up to scan the shelves until he could see all of the options. A small bump in his back startled him, turning to his right he saw a girl with long curly black hair walking fast with her head down. A small sorry came from her mouth as she quickly bowed and walked away. Atsumu didn’t even get the chance to respond before she bumped into someone else. He assumed she knew the person because she kept her head on his back a wrapped her arms around his waist. The man turned to grab her smaller figure and placed a kiss on her forehead. It wasn’t until Atsumu met eyes with the man that he realized sakusa was the one kissing her. 

Sakusa’s eyes stayed neutral and trained on on Atsumu as he embraced the girl. Atsumu stared at his teammate wondering if he’d say something. He knew it was unlikely but remained hopeful. Sakusa grabbed her hand and walked off with a basket of groceries. He thought about approaching and introducing himself just to piss sakusa off. But figured It’d be best to mess with him later at practice. 

‘Sumu finished getting what he needed and stood in line. Outside the store window he could see the same couple arguing. They were yelling...loud. Atsumu had never seen sakusa with so much emotion. Never seen those facial expressions. He wanted to see more, he kept his eyes on the couple as he walked out. His apartment was only a few blocks down so there was no need to take the bus. As Atsumu passed them sakusa met eyes with him once more. The girl paused and took the opportunity to get in the car and drive off, leaving sakusa in the parking lot. Atsumu stopped walking and sakusa continued to stare at him. Sakusa stayed where he was shaking his head pushing his hair back. Atsumu came a little closer to where he stood.

“Who thought I’d get a show while running errands, should’ve brought popcorn. What was that all about?” Atsumu asked.

“And how is that your business Miya?” Sakusa glared.

“Don’t get mad at me Omi. Jus’ wanted ta know if I should call the police for causin’ a public disturbance.” Atsumu smirked

“How thoughtful.” Sakusa huffed.

“Yeah I know. It’s a shame really. What you not treating ‘er right Omi omi ?”

If looks could kill. Sakusa’s cold stare sent a chill down Atsumu’s spine. “Look at that emotion” Atsumu thought. The only time where he’d got to see Sakusa showing real emotion like that was during a game. 

Sakusa closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. When his gaze returned he smirked and pulled his mask out of his pocket. 

“I’m leaving.” Sakusa turned on his heels

Atsumu didn’t want him to leave. This was the most he’d ever seen out of him. 

“How? she took the car.” Atsumu added a small chuckle. 

Sakusa stopped but didn’t turn around. Atsumu continued

“I don’t understand. Y’all were just so lovey dovey in the store.”

“It’s really none of your business.” His back still facing Atsumu.

“Ya. That’s true. Though you may not believe Omi-kun I jus’ wanna help.”

“Yeah you’re right. I don’t believe you.”

“Fair. I guess I could just ask Meian-San or bokkun to help you out eh?” 

“I better not hear shit about this at practice Miya.” He finally face Atsumu.

“Yeah well you will. Unless ya just talk ta me. I’m serious I just wanna see what’s going on with ya omi omi.” 

Atsumu was lying. He wouldn’t tell Sakusa’s business to the team or anyone for that matter. 

Sakusa sighed, “I don’t wanna talk about...”

“Well talk to someone even if it’s not me.” Atsumu turned to continue back to his apartment leave omi where he stood. 

He raised his hand while walking away.

“See ya at practice omi omi”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wassup. Just gonna leave this here for now. Hope you guys are enjoying so far. I’ll try to get the next chapter in by tmr but don’t pressure me lol. Leave feedback if you want. But listen I’m typing this on my phone and can’t really edit edit so if there are errors... just ignore them I didn’t mean it XD


	3. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally got two days off from work and decided to start writing the third chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pissed off please helping

Finally wrote the whole chapter 3 in my notes. And what the fuck did I do... delete it...

There are tears literally streaming down my face. 

I just did all of that for nothing... fuck fuck fuck fuck. I’m so pissed right now. 

I literally just finished writing it to. At this point ion even wanna retype it cuz it’s not letting me undo it. 

If anyone knows how I can get it back please let me know...

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoo! You can call me maddymat. Excited for this series and for you to read it. Regardless if only 1 or 100,000 people read it I hope you enjoy!


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